Piper: Hello, mother. Enjoying your cereal, are you?
Look who is ~*~expecting~*~
Yeah it's okay Piper. I find his face disgusting too. Just don't look directly at it.
Xylose: *sobs his little heart out*
Tri: Wow, I've raised my kids well!
Ooops I redecorated the house but didn't leave enough money for the maid.
THIS IS ALL XYLOSE DOES.
No I do not have favourite children what makes you think that?
OH. DEAR. LOOORRDDDDDD.
After you get over the fact that she was born with no eyes or hair, this is Isatin. (Or 1H-indole-2,3-dione)
What am I paying this bitch for again?
Piper: A+ WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Tri: FUCK YEAH THAT'S MY GIRL!!!
Xylose: Look, ma! I got an A!
Lola: Fuck off I just pushed a baby out of my vagina. I need rest. Also I am not your mother.
Xylose: Okay :(
THAT AWKWARD MOMENT WHEN YOU'RE TRYING TO HAVE SEX AND YOUR HALF-ALIEN SON WON'T LEAVE YOU ALONE.
(this photo got > 9,000 notes on Tumblr btw trolololol)
And so the chilren are left to entertain the guests as their parents sex it up.
THIS IS ISA. SHE WAS BORN DIFFERENT.
I really love the fog hat, okay. It matches her evil eyes ~
Oh my God so close, Lola. So...close.
/shortest Isa spam ever
Piper's birthday awww yeah
Not gonna lie, she is gorgeous
Meanwhile, in toddler bitch land
Oh my God Piper what what what are you wearing?! Look at your life! Look at your choices!
This could all have been avoided if she had a sassy gay friend.
I was wondering why the house was such a mess and then I realised that if you don't pay the maid they don't come back. So the poor guys were just sitting in their own filth, lol
BITCH STOLE THE HOT TUB!
Girl if you don't kill her I will boolprop her arse.
WHAT THE HOT TUB WAS WORTH WAY MORE THAN THAT!!
They couldn't afford to buy a new one :'(
These two honestly do not care who sees them naked anymore.
Actually, Lola never cared seeing as she would hottub naked with strangers but still
Damn she is cute
XYLOSE'S BIRTHDAY ALSO
Shit I forgot about the alien eye glitch
aaaand I was on a roll so I didn't download contacts, ha
POST-MAKEOVER. LOOKING MIGHTY FINE.
J/k he still creeps me out so much
But it's okay because Isa is cute and counterbalances everything so the world does not explode
And I forgot to take a post-makeover pic. But he's here somewhere later so nbd.
Pointless photos are pointless. But nice to look at.
AND THEN CAME THE THREE-DAY SNOW DAY.
So I got them to build an army of snowmen instead of doing anything useful.
Told you there was a picture of Tri as an oooollldddd man.
And I'll never understand the appeal of starting a smustle in the tiniest room of the house.
Don't be so mad, Lola! You can have all the sex you want and not get pregnant!
The garden went a little wild over the winter.
OHHHH XYLOSE YOU HAVE MORE WORK TO DO ~
And because I couldn't be arsed to call a repair man...
And then no-one could bargain with the reaper because
Sorry but my 'give a fuck' is broken.
And that's when I realised that Piper was failing school.
WHAT?! She did all her homework and was still failing. She must be really dense.
But it doesn't matter because it is her birthday, yay
I think she is a Tri clone....
Don't lie, we all practice our dance moves in front of the mirror
Piper: Get ready, bitches. I'm about to grow up!
AND HERE SHE IS! And of course she then promptly moved out so I can get Isa ready for the big wide world...
Isa: I wish my parents would buy me a piano instead of another hot tub...
LOL OMG THIS IS THE FIRST TIME THIS HAS EVER HAPPENED TO ME!!!
And both her parents were at work so I was powerless :(
Uhhh... So I guess this means that Piper is heir, then?